From day one of being a parent, my desire has been to stay close to the heart of my children all of their days. With Lydia it seemed very easy. I have been blessed to be a stay at home mom from the very beginning so we had lots of time for singing, book reading, constant instruction etc.. We were as close as two peas in a pod. Then came Bethany. And Havilah. Somewhere along the line I realized that our home was much more of a "don't do that!" type than I wanted it to be. I found myself being grumpy and bossy, impatient and demanding.
It is easy when surrounded by many well-meaning friends who assure me that I must have my hands full to begin to feel sorry for myself or pat myself on the back for all the thing I do get done. I made myself believe that I was doing the best that I could and that my girls were turning out just great. I began to forget the importance of drawing their hearts close to mine.
"Heart strings" are just a simple illustration I use to remind myself of what I'm doing.
When I have a grumpy attitude, I cut a heart string.
When I ignore their stories, I cut a heart string.
When I lash out in anger or frustration, I cut many heart strings.
When I am critical and impatient towards their attempts, I cut a heart string.
When I listen attentively, laughing or showing concern, I tie a heart string.
When I smile at them from my heart, I tie a heart string.
When I tell them how much they mean to me, I tie a heart string.
When I take the time to sing, laugh, play or explain, I tie a heat string.
My desire is to bind myself to my children's hearts and to be extremely cautious to keep myself from cutting those strings that bind us together.
Confession time here. It is not harder for me to be close to my daughter's hearts than it was when I just had one. The difference is that I am more distracted and lazy. With each new child that comes, it only magnifies my love for each one of them. It is never hard work to love my children. The hard work comes from sacrificing my selfish desires, which is something that I greatly desire to do!
By the way, has anyone seen my adorable little firstborn around these days? She looks like the above picture. She has the most beautiful blue eyes, a contagious smile and the sweetest personality I've ever seen!
When I look for her these days I find this beautiful little girl who is well on her way towards becoming a young woman. She has the most beautiful blue eyes, a contagious smile and the sweetest personality I've ever seen. This morning she drew a a picture of a princess and said it was me. Yesterday she said ( and signed) that she loved me at least thirty times. She is one of my closest companions and we share our hearts with each other openly. Her sisters are following closely in her footsteps and the bond we all share is one of the most precious things in the world to me.
Dear Lord, please guide me and give me wisdom as I raise these precious treasures you've entrusted to me. Rid me of my selfishness and my foolishness. Help me to be faithful in keeping my children's hearts close to mine, so that in return they will be held fast to you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your amazing love and blessings!