Monday, May 28, 2012

That's How She Knows...

Confession time here.  There's a tiny part of me tucked away down deep that will always love Disney songs.  I just can't fight it.  "Be Our Guest" will always make me want to dance and "Part of Your World" will always make me want to cry. 

The other day I found myself singing along on Pandora to Enchanted's "That's How She Knows".  You know, Giselle is singing and dancing through the park, Edward is being stampeded by bicycles and we are all relieved that Robert is taking in some advice (even though we know he is falling in love with Giselle.  But come on, who doesn't love Giselle?).

As I was singing along, it hit me.  These very words I'm singing are exactly what gets me in trouble day after day.  The catchy lyrics are filled with sage advice like,

Well does he leave a little note to tell you you are on his mind?
Send you yellow flowers when the sky is grey?
He'll find a new way to show you, a little bit every day.
That's how you know, that's how you know he's your love!

My husband has never once sent me yellow flowers when the sky is grey.  How could he not have thought of that?

Well does he take you out dancing just so he can hold you close?
Dedicate a song with words in just for you?
He'll find his own way to tell you with the little things he'll do.
That's how you know, that's how you know he's your love.

My friend's husband once dedicated a song just for her.  Has mine?  Never.

Because he'll wear your favorite color just so he can match your eyes.
Plan a  private picnic by the fire's glow.
His heart will be yours forever, something every day will show.
That's how you know, that's how you know he's your love.

Somewhere along the way (I really can't blame Enchanted!) I adopted the mindset that if my husband really loves me, he will show me.  Not just in any way, but in ways that make me feel loved.  To be honest, a lot of days have passed that it feels like he hasn't "shown" me that he loves me.  Sometimes it feels like he hardly does at all.

I've spent countless pitiful hours moping about how my husband must not really love me because he doesn't show me the way I expect.  Wasted, wasted hours.

To be honest, even after almost eight years of marriage, we are still learning every day how to love each other.  I hope we will continue to until the day we die.  As hard as it is for me to understand, I'm not as accomplished at showing him love as I think I am either. 

If I'm looking for proof of his love in candlelit dinners, dancing in the rain or foot massages, I will most likely be sorely disappointed.  But my husband has other ways of showing me that he loves me.  Like getting up for work every morning with a positive attitude and coming home from work every day with a kiss and arms to hold all six of us girls.  Like being completely honest with me and making choices and decisions that allow me to completely trust him.  Like listening to me endlessly and trying his hardest to understand how to love me.  Like praying for me and leading our family in a way that honors the Lord. 

That's how I know my man loves me.  And that how I know he's my love!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Grace, this blog really "hit home" for me. I've had my share of the "mundane marriage mopes" this week and feeling sorry for myself and unloved when really I was just looking for the signs of love in all the wrong places. Life can't be a fairytale everyday and most days it isn't the key is seeing the love in everyday actions (and looking for ways where I can show love to my husband in every day things as well). Thanks for letting God use your lessons to encourage others. Love you dear friend! ~Theresa Arnold