Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Learning to be HIS wife!

I know. I know.  This is about as basic as it gets.  But it has also been a slow and painful lesson for me that I need reminded of ALL the time!  David and I married young.  Like "a month after graduating high school young".  But I had wanted to marry him for a VERY long time.  All I wanted in life was to be David King's wife.  (For some very young pics go here )

After we got married I read every marriage book I could get my hands on.  I was going to be the PRO!  I found all sorts of great ideas, things that "every" husband would like.  This was the first time I was faced with a harsh reality.  My husband was not "every" husband.  I don't think I could count the times I've poured myself into some great plan or scheme only to be left feeling unnoticed or unappreciated.  This was a wonderful place  to wallow in self pity.  Here was I was being the "best wife ever" and this man I was married to didn't even care.

I remember the first time it hit me, because I fought it tooth and nail.  Someone proposed the idea that I was supposed to be concerned about pleasing my husband.  Not the the majority of men in America.  Not the leading poll of husbands. My own husband.  But, but, but.  There where plenty of buts.  Eventually it sunk in though.  My own husband. My own amazing man that I longed to marry and serve.  What did it matter what "most men" liked?  I was called to love MY husband.

Like I said, this has been a painful lesson for me.  I've had to swallow my pride continuously.  And my self-pity even more often.  And it really has gotten easier.  When my goal as a wife is about loving the Lord by loving my husband and not about my own "perfect image", the rewards are overwhelming!

I still have to be reminded of it all the time though!  Tonight brought just another simple reminder.  Today felt like a good day to try a new recipe that sounded scrumptious.  I spent all afternoon following Pioneer Woman's Chicken and Dumpling recipe to the letter.  Pan frying the chicken,  removing it, adding it back in,  shredding it, adding it again etc.. Homemade chicken stock.  A dash of whipping cream.  It looked gooooood!  It smelled gooooood.  I thought it tasted gooooood.    

David's report.  He likes my other soup better.  You know, the one with chicken bouillon broth and packaged noodles.  Well, now I know!  No more Pioneer Woman's Chicken and Dumplings here!


Aly sun said...

Perfect post. This often comes back to the "love languages." Just because I WANT my husband to receive my love a certain way, doesn't mean that he does. Serving him in the way that makes him feel most love is the ideal. A very good reminder for all of us.

Mrs David W said...

Honestly the most basic concepts are the hardest to grasp.
I completely understand this idea of pleasing MY husband and not someone else. (reading the books etc)
I struggled a lot with obeying and submitting to my husband the way he wanted me to. I would be quiet or say yes even when the answer was no when he asked what I wanted to do. I would try and say what I felt like he would want to hear.
He stressed to me that he wanted to know my true feelings and helped me learn what submission in our home would look like.
It quite a road to walk isn't it? A beautiful path with much to learn.
I praise God each day for his mercy and grace.
Thank you for the post!!!

Ginger said...

Ha! That's hilarious! (about the soup) Did you see my blogpost some time back about the 37 step dessert Pioneer Woman was swooning over? I can't fathom wanting to spend that much time in the kitchen.
I've learned that certain meals we eat for lunch when hubby's at work. I love Spinach Lentil Soup. The kids all love my Spinach Lentil Soup. Kyle can't stand it. We eat it when he's at work. ;)

Colorado Baxters said...

Hmmm... totally agree on the marriage part. But the soup still sounds delicious! :-)